Expressing Devotion

Meditation is one way towards self-realization. Knowing oneself and acknowledging the presence of the divine within, is the goal of human life. Initially, I did not seek self-realization, nor was I comfortable with the thought that the divine is within and I could merge with the divine by practicing meditation.

 For me, God used to be elsewhere, a temporary guest of honor. Someone else, outside of me, who I reached out to when I was in need, pain or grief. At other times, I was grateful of course, but the constant interference remained unwelcome. Having God within was dauting, as nothing against His will was possible! Keeping conscious vigil 24/7 was a nightmare. Never a moment when I could let my hair down and think, “My prayers are done, I can have some fun now!” From oscillating between human and humane tendencies, God within, incessantly prodded me to be humane only.

Prayer, chanting, japa seemed more attractive, simpler ways of expressing my devotion. In their own way they guided me towards the source. These paths allowed me to connect with the divine when I wanted, and for the duration I was comfortable with. With time, I realized that these tools were distracting and more difficult. I lacked the craving and integrity to sing or chant the lord’s name for the sake of the Lord! Some need and whim of mine crept in, or someone next to me sang better and diverted my attention and I became conscious of myself. The chant or nama smarana became about me! And the whole purpose was defeated.

My master used to say that the way the seeker seeks the divine’s presence in their life, is the way the divine reveals itself in their life. The divine is a reflection of what the seeker seeks.

I needed God as integral to my very existence. Without the conscious round the clock presence of the divine within I knew I could not make any progress. And, Meditation is between me and myself, no one to listen to, compete or compare with! Thus, meditation became my natural choice to connect with the divine.