What matters in Life – Marriage

As I come to the closure of this long series of what matters in life, I wanted to share Dr. Adizes thoughts, same yet different, on marriage! He talks about marriage as ‘tending to the garden’.

Marriage is continuous work. This is not explained to anyone in India. I was raised with the mindset that marriage it the end goal of every girl. Get married, and that is all… How to stay married is not taught and no one seems to have a manual on how to live this crucial relationship in life!

One honeymoon is not enough for a lifetime of marriage. The closer the relation, the more tending it needs. A garden needs to be pampered, de-weeded, watered, fertilized, soil needs to be changed at regular intervals. And after doing all this also, some flowers may bloom, and some may just wither away for lack of sunshine or water. All close relationships are like a garden, needing gentle loving care, continuously. And a marriage is the closest and most precious of all relationships. This garden is in need always, unto death, to keep the relationship vibrant.  

To predict failures just take things for granted. Do nothing. In marriage, as in life, real success depends on how advantageously you handle your failures.

Adapting to change and constantly working to maintain success, takes energy. That is frustrating, at times. To assume that all is fine and will be fine, that there is nothing more to do, is comforting. Life doesn’t work like that though.

When achieving a goal means we have nothing more to do, when we take success for granted, we are writing ourselves a prescription for future failure.

So, if it is worth keeping the marriage, or any relationship, work at it, like a gardener.