Magic Words Thank you

Saying thank you was drilled into me from a very young age. And I used this phrase with impunity, and with great abundance, because my insincere appreciation had no repercussions. Instead, I was always rewarded with a pat on my back for being polite, courteous and my parents’ good upbringing also did not go un-noticed. It was a very win-win bargain.

So, when in his workshop, Marshal Rosenberg insisted that the admirers please elaborate and explain their Thank You, I was curious. An expression which had kept me in the good books for a very long time was not enough for Marshal. It had failed to impress him.

A thank you in NVC is an expression of gratitude, explaining how the deeds or words of the other have enriched and contributed to the persons’ life.  I am grateful for what I have received from the other. I appreciate their contribution, and the learning experience.  It is not mere lip-service. The words are from the heart, with the intention to connect with the heart of the other without an expectation of any return, duty or obligation.  

It gives me a feeling of comfort, belonging and I don’t hesitate to seek help in future either. Now, I know what difference those two words continue to make in my life. I am learning a little about myself and the other with each expression of gratitude. It is gently peeling away my sense of duty or obligation, a forced etiquette and is replaced by willingness and a whole-hearted expression of wanting to participate, and support however best I can.

Today, the value of my thank you is more, because it is a genuine expression of my gratitude. It is not etiquette, and it is not attached to any expectation or return. It is with inner joy that I wish to acknowledge, I am truly grateful for the way the words or deeds have impacted and changed me for the better.